Reading to babies from birth to fight post-natal depression

Postnatal depression is a common and debilitating condition that affects one in seven women following the birth of their baby. Unlike the baby blues which passes on its own, postnatal depression can be long-lasting and affect your ability to cope with managing a new baby. Children’s Author, Michelle Worthington, says that spending five minutes a day reading to her baby helped with the feelings of helplessness, fostered communication and established trust. Reading was a practical and manageable way for her to begin to bond with her baby. It’s important to seek help early, so that you can reduce these negative impacts of postnatal depression on you and your family.

Kids, change, and the power of picture books

 Kids, change, and the power of picture books

Picture Books can be great tools for you to use to help your child understand change and new or frightening events, and also the strong emotions that can go along with them. When children are able to think about the text and make connections between the new information presented in the story and their store of background experiences, it allows them to be active and thoughtful about their own anxiety. Children can use picture books to make connections between familiar knowledge and incoming information in order to make predictions and inferences about characters, their motives and actions, as well as story events in order to learn that change is a natural and normal part of life. 

Stop telling me what's wrong with our kids

Nearly every day, I see an article online about what's wrong with our kids, from teenage boys to toddlers. Speaking from the view point of a mother who has both at the same time, I am so disappointed that this is the only way they seem to be perceived: as a problem that needs to be fixed.

My grandmother passed away recently. She was a woman who faced many challenges in her life and didn't always make the right decisions when it came to the best interests of her children, but she was passionate about always loving them for who they are. I learnt so much about the challenges of parenting from her and I will be forever grateful.

Our children are doing amazing. They are growing up in a world that is moving faster than any other time in history. No previous generation has had to adapt to the amount of technological, economical and climate change that they will have to do in their lifetime. As far as I am concerned, they are adapting incredibly well and in most cases, no thanks to us.

If we criticise our kids about being more sensitive, more distracted and harder to fit into a mould than previous generations, then we are being absolutely correct but incredibly unproductive. Why does that have to be bad thing? Children are constantly bombarded with real world concepts that we were sheltered from when news was only watched on television at night and only by grown ups. Children are expected to cope with the real world issues without in most cases having an age appropriate context to understand what is happening. We can't shelter our kids from the world. It's everywhere they look; TV, computer, phones and even at the petrol station when you are filling up the car, but we can treat them with the respect they deserve and have conversations with them and give them the tools that need to live in a world that doesn't sleep. I would much rather have a son who felt he could express his feelings to me, both good and bad, so that I could better understand his situation and hopefully give him the tools for further safe expression and continued communication, than make him feel that overwhelming emotions made him weak or inferior somehow and that expressing those feelings is wrong.

If I had a choice between reading a book or playing a game on my iPad when I was their age, I would have chosen iPad, and I love books. The lure of modern technology comes from smart marketing, inadequate arts funding for interactive creative projects and a bunch of dinosaurs who are still trying to compete with immediate, individualised, integrated programming and display an appalling lack  of the imagination and foresight required to embrace what could be an amazing partnership between the new and the old. When parents are so distracted themselves, not only by having to be a two income family just to make ends meet, and then catching up with the younger generation by trying to understand the technology and social media they use with such ingenious prowess, that any time left should be to focus on the children. This is where we as parents fail them, by scheduling in after school and weekend activities from sporting, music and extra academic lessons to fill the white noise that deafens you as a parent of a child that you can't connect with. Connection with our kids is what's missing, and that's where we are failing them and not the other way around.

If we could just spend more time teaching our kids about critical and creative thinking, using the technology they are comfortable with, then they can hold the key to their own salvation. The insatiable need we have to give our kids labels is making them think that if they don't have one, there must be something wrong with them. It's not normal to be normal anymore. We've taken everything that was done with the best of intentions and twisted it with political purpose or economic gain. Even play based learning, extra help in the classroom and children's mental health issues have been skewed so far from the essence of their original purpose that they end up in most cases doing our kids more harm than good. Our education system, child protection agency and health care system are broken and the good people within these organisations that are trying to do the best for our kids are fighting a losing battle. All of these things are our of our kids control and another example of how they are constantly reacting to the world around them in order to survive. There is no time to think.

I understand that our kids aren't perfect, but what more can you expect from an imperfect world? As a parent, I'm not going to beat myself up about that, mainly because I don't have the time or energy to dedicate to what society thinks of me or my children, but mostly because the time I do have is better spent letting my kids know how proud I am of everything they are achieving and how much I'm looking forward to seeing the men they will become. I also let them know how sorry I am that the world they have to grow up in, the world that my generation was meant to fix, is a world full of 'ifs' and 'buts', without a clear answer of why things are the way they are or a united, safe and secure direction for the future. I believe with all my heart that the next generation, when we give them the support they need, not the criticism they definitely don't deserve, then and only then will they be the ones who really can make the world a better place.

Top Tips for How to Read to Kids Who Don't Like Books

We have all heard the age old mantra that children should be read to from birth and this is true, in an ideal world. There is such a thing as a child who simply doesn't want to be read to, who can't sit still long enough or has trouble processing words and pictures at the same time. These children need to be introduced differently to the world of books and progressively to reading, in their own time and on their own terms. Just because they don't have a natural affinity with books, doesn't mean they should miss out on the benefits of Sensory Storytelling.

My youngest son, Tom, was born at 28 weeks. He has recently been diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder. He doesn't play with other children, he doesn't watch TV and most of all, he doesn't read books. As a picture book author, not being able to share books with him just about breaks my heart. So, I have been working with him to find some age appropriate, sensory friendly ways to help him discover and embrace the magic of books.

Children who are not interested in books can be put off by many things, some seemingly more significant than others but all of them need to be acknowledged and addressed. Every child is different, but let’s take Tom for example. Firstly, the size of the book bothers him. Bigger is not always better. He will open the book to a page but won't allow or initiate page turning. Even at 18 months old, everything still goes in the mouth. He doesn't like being read to with the book in front of him, but will listen if I am behind and eventually come to me when he is ready. We have never had a successful bedtime storytelling session whereas with my older two boys, we read a book or ten together every night.

My best tip would be don’t attempt to try and read books to a disinterested child at bedtime. They are tired and cranky, and you might be too. Find a bedtime routine that works for them and run with it. Don’t feel guilty if you are not reading to them at night. The second tip is to keep it simple. Choose three books about subjects your child is familiar with and let them choose which one they would like you to read them. 

• Let them touch the book before you start reading.

• Establish a comfortable personal space 

• Be slow and deliberate in your movements, especially when turning the page and pointing to words

• Keep your voice low and calm, limiting expression to what is needed for understanding to begin with and then adding facial expressions and repetitive head movements.

• Look at the pictures in the book first before going back and reading the words if they are still interested. The pictures themselves will foster discussion and interaction.

• Allow fidgety behaviour and if the child is unable to sit still, stand up and walk around while reading.

This is a process and may have to be repeated many times before they become responsive to what you are trying to achieve. Don’t give up. The reward of parent-child bonding over a picture book story is more than worth the effort.

What ways do you have of engaging reluctant readers? I'd love to hear your tips.

Why You Should Read Classic Children's Books to Modern Kids

A parent recently told me that her kids would never be interested in reading the books she read as a child because they were too old fashioned. It struck me that in my experience, this was definitely not the case.

I read the books I treasured as a little girl to my boys and not withstanding the gender difference, they loved them. Some were considered classics, but most just held beautiful childhood memories for me. The reason I read them to my children is because I believed in the deep resonance they had with me that must have stuck with me for some reason.  They held a truth that my heart recognised and I wanted to share with and teach that truth to my family.  If history has taught us anything, it is that stories always endure.

Here are my top 5 reasons to read your favourite books to your kids.




1. It connects you.

One of the most beautiful things in life is sharing books you read as a child. I loved the old books my mother and grandmother had from their childhood and read to me. They connected me to their lives and history.

2. Today’s kids will still understand.

If it is a good story, children with enjoy it, no matter if the writing style is not what they are used to. In fact, it is an excellent vocabulary building tool and reading extension for creative thinking to expose them to different sentence structure. Children’s books celebrate universal themes that are timeless.

 

3. You have fun reading them out loud.

Share your excitement and enjoyment by reading the books aloud. The children will respond to your joy and it is a great way to initiate open conversation about why you loved the book and what about it has stayed with you over the years.

 4. Explore other perspectives

Kids can understand whose point of view a story is coming from if you take the time to explain the social context it was written in. Balance it out, talk about it. Being able to see things from a variety of perspectives is a big step in tolerance and moral development. It can also give kids a historical context…depending on how old they think you are.

 

5. Extend the learning

Use the reading as a starting point to fire you children’s imagination and extend their learning to a trip to the museum or another place of interest that can expand on the concepts and historical context discussed in the story. Seeing how far we have come has its place. Books can be portals through time and space and the more children are exposed to the organic value of reading and the meaning it has for them in their day to day lives.

 

My favourite childhood books are too many to list here, but I will give you my top 5 series and authors.

Anne of Green Gables series

Little House on the Prairie series

Enid Blyton Books

Beatrix Potter Books

Mem Fox Books

 

I would love to know what books framed your childhood. Please let me know in the comments.

Top 10 tips for Connecting with Toddlers through Reading Time

Here are my top ten tips for Connecting with Your Little Ones.

• Build a foundation of communication and word structure for your child by helping them to become familiar with common sounds, words and language that you use throughout the day.



• Introduce them to the value of books by incorporating them into playtime as well as a bedtime routine.



• Talk about what you have read. Help your children understand that ideas need to be discussed and thought about critically and creatively. This will help show them that words can be communicated to other people in different ways to pass on the message. If you have read something you don’t agree with, discuss that as well. Children need to learn that everything this is written is not necessarily the truth.

• Find ways in everyday activities to spark your child’s imagination. Stimulate curiosity and help his brain development by using words creatively. Don’t be scared about using ‘big words’. Vocabulary is key to improving communication in young children.



• Use sounds in fun ways. Make silly made up sounds and vary your pitch and tone when talking, reading and singing songs together.



• Help your child learn the difference between ‘real’ and ‘make-believe’. Imaginative play with toys and books is a great way to switch from real life scenarios to make believe world building. Encourage made up stories but be clear about when the time is needed for truth.

• Picture books can be great tools for you to use to help your child understand change and new or frightening events, and also the strong emotions that can go along with them. The library is an amazing resource for finding diverse books.



• Stop and listen when your child is trying to tell you something. Maintain eye contact. Try to stay as still as you can. Your child will develop early literacy skills like the ability to listen to and understand words faster if they feel they themselves are being listened to and understood.



• Teach your child the importance of following simple instructions by writing shopping lists together and getting them involved with easy cooking recipes or reading aloud to them as you are cooking so they can see the importance of written words.

• Foster a sense of humour by sharing laughter every day. Laugh out loud at silly jokes, something accidental or unusual that happened or silly sounds. Learning to laugh is important for a child’s communication, literacy and emotional development. Best of all, the sound of your laughter will make them the happiest of all.





If you have some great top tips, I would love you to contact me.


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